Boys and Girls CAN Be Friends!!!

Okay, this has now happened to me more than once, so it officially gets a blog post:

What's so wrong with boys and girls being friends?

I enjoy having friends of the opposite sex. In fact, as I've probably already stated, I think everyone should have both male and female friends. The perspective is totally worth it.

Why must the assumption always be that the boy and girl are 'more than friends'?

Now, I will admit that when I've imbibed a bit too much, I'm prone to being overly affectionate. This goes for boys and girls alike, married or single. I am one of those girls that kisses EVERYONE at midnight on New Years Eve. But the last two times someone has asked if I was in a relationship with one of my guy friends, I've been completely sober. Both situations have been larger functions where I'm along to keep company, and in neither case was I even being touchy. (I am relatively affectionate with out the influences as well, but more along the arm linky vein, as opposed to the huggy/kissy vein).

The first time I was sitting NEXT to my friend and we were having a conversation. We were merely sitting side by side on a bench. Not even overly close together I don't think.

This time I was at a party and we both stopped to talk to someone. We were wandering around, in fact we didn't have our arms linked nor were we walking side by side, I was following behind him as he cut a path towards where we were going.

Now, I actually find this stuff funny for the most part. Except that it could be problematic in the future. And I seriously wonder what it is that I'm doing to make people think I'm with someone. (When it's not obvious behavior... like public displays of affection.) I've been married for the last six years, and I really have no desire to worry that every time I'm out with a guy that's not my husband (as he lives quite a ways away at the moment) people will think I'm having an affair!

What am I missing here? Do I need a pair of tee shirts that say "Not A Couple" to be worn by myself and whatever male friend I'm out with at any given time?

I'd really like to ask what made these people jump to the 'couple' conclusion, but in both situations the assumers were very embarrassed, and I don't think I can put them back in that spot and ask. If it's merely attending a function, I'm going to be very annoyed. (That's not a fixable one in my book).

Yet Another Batch Of Things Off The List

That's right, it's been a while since I've done a list update... so here it is for your viewing pleasure.

12/29 - Try Sushi. I was home over break and had lunch with a Dear Friend. He was in the mood for sushi so away we went... I actually enjoyed it. I even managed to get my mind over the matter of raw fish, and enjoyed some of the locally named rolls. (It was Salmon, Cucumber and Avocado). I'd definitely be willing to have it again, and can see why it's addictive.

1/08 - Finish Watching Lois and Clark. I've had all four seasons of Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman for several years now. I watched the first two seasons as soon as I got them, but for some reason never got around to the later seasons. (Or rather, I'd go through phases and watch an episode or two here and there). Well finally, before I started back to school this semester I had the time to watch the last portion of Season Four. I watched probably 12 episodes in two days... and now I'm done.

1/22 - Learn To Make A Cosmo. Cosmos have been my favorite cocktail for years. I don't drink them very often anymore because frankly, they're expensive. (I tend to stick to the cheaper, less sweet, Vodka Tonic). But I've always wanted to learn to make one. I knew it was vodka and cranberry juice, and a wedge of lime, but I had no clue what else. So I finally looked up a recipe, made a list and made a trip to the liquor store. (In addition to the above mentioned ingredients you also need lime juice and triple sec). Made them, made a mess (some how I managed to get all the way to... well an aged state, and never obtained a cocktail shaker). They turned out delicious, and one of my friends bought me a cocktail shaker so I can make them easier next time.

Recipe:

1 ounce Vodka

1/2 ounce Triple Sec

1/2 ounce Lime Juice (Rose's(R) is the recommended brand, but I think any variety will do)

1/2 ounce Cranberry Juice

Wedge of Lime (for garnish)

(Here's where I found the recipe: http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink234.html)

Shake over ice and strain into happy glass.

NOW - here's what I did, finding it a little too strong - I doubled the cranberry juice - tasted much better then... but for purists (and plagiarism purposes) I'll leave the original recipe in tact.

1/22 - Make Tiramisu. I love tiramisu, it's probably my favorite Italian dessert (next gelato of course), I'm not sure how it ended up on my list of things to do... but it did. So I had people over for dinner last Saturday, and I decided to make lasagna. (Lasagna is my fail-safe dinner entree - I've made it a billion times, and I get lots of compliments on it.) What goes better with an Italian entree than an Italian dessert? (If your answer to this question is Nothing goes better! then we're on the same page.) So I began my hunt for the perfect Tiramisu recipe. Watch out if you go in search of your own, there are a lot of them out there.

One of my friends recommended this recipe: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Tiramisu-II/Detail.aspx

I used it for a few reasons. First, it was recommended by someone that had made it and liked it. Second, there aren't that many ingredients. And third, the eggs in the recipe are cooked. [I don't have a problem with raw eggs, I could live off cookie dough if given the chance, but one of my friends that was coming to dinner has an aversion to them.]

So I looked at the recipe and made my shopping list. The instructions from the recommender were to double the coffee and the rum... so I kept that in mind. I found everything I needed (except the booze of course) at my local Safeway. So here are my tips if you decide to make this recipe for yourselves.

1 - You need two packages of lady fingers (I bought them in the Safeway bakery).

2 - I used Bel Gioioso's Tiramisu Mascarpone (It's got a slight coffee flavor to it already). You might want to leave it out on the counter to soften before you try to incorporate it with the cooled egg custard.

3 - The egg thing seems a little scary at first, but as long as you keep them moving it's really no problem. But put them in a bigger bowl that you would think to cool, it makes it easier to add the mascarpone later.

4 - I used Disarrono (an Amaretto liquor) instead of rum... because frankly I don't really like rum, and I thought the Disaronno might give a better flavor. (If you don't want to buy a whole bottle - I sure didn't - I just used one of the little 'nips' from the liquor store - it's a little more than a quarter cup)

5 - Definitely double the coffee and booze that gets poured over the lady fingers - I would suggest dividing it in half before starting to pour though. I didn't use enough on the bottom layer, wanting to make sure I had enough for the top layer, then couldn't use it all on the top. There is no way to get back to that first layer of lady fingers once the layers of custard and whipped cream are in place.

6 - Let it sit overnight before serving. The recommender told me this, and I adhered. I made the dessert Friday afternoon and served it Saturday night. The wait really gives the ladyfingers time to absorb the flavors.

7 - I was also told that shaved chocolate worked just as well as cocoa powder - I didn't try that because well, I don't want to deal with the rest of the chocolate bar - but I would start with less powder than the recipe calls for, and add more if needed to cover. I had the top heavily dusted with cocoa powder - couldn't even see any whipped cream - and still had a bunch left in my sifter.

All in all it was a success - everyone enjoyed it. Even one of my friends who was annoyed that I made it, because he didn't like it. [Yes I am very accommodating and would normally take that into consideration - but this time the other guest's love for tiramisu won out] Apparently he likes it now.

I will probably make this again.

So here we are - January 2010 - Four months til graduation, and I've gotten another four things off my list! Go me!

The Radio Is Out To Get Me

So everyone knows there are certain songs I hate... this morning they all seemed to be there.

First, Elton John's Can You Feel The Love Tonight - hello marching band flash backs. Now I have plenty of stories that happily start at "This one time at Band Camp," and most of my band memories are good, but at 8:00 am, they're still too much for me to handle.

Next, Boston's More Than A Feeling - I know you're all thinking, but Fat Girl, you love that song. You're right. I do. But I like it so much that I decided to say and listen to it instead of leaving for class.

Last, Tears For Fears' Everybody Wants To Rule The World - I loathe this song. The ONLY time it's acceptable is at the end of Real Genius, and that is because of the copious amounts of popcorn. Now I know this is my fault, because had I left on time (during Boston) I would not have heard this song)... but still... I think the radio is out to get me.

Death At A Funeral - A Rant and a Rave

Death At A Funeral is a British black comedy that came out in the summer of 2007. I first learned about this movie while at the theatre to see what turned out to be a very bad movie. The preview for this movie was funnier than the every single second of the movie I paid to see.

Unfortunately, when the movie finally came out, it was only in limited release, so I kind of forgot all about it. (It did not come to a theatre near me!) Fast forward to December of 2009 - I'm shopping with one of the besties and hanging on the theatre wall is an enormous poster for Death At A Funeral - coming in spring of 2010. That can't possibly be the same movie, can it? Those are all American actors. I IMDB it. Sure enough it's a remake of the 2007 film. Why the hell do they need to remake a film that was just made? It was made in English - it's not like it was a foreign film that needed translation!! I'm speechless in frustration. I immediately (well when I get home) email one of the friends that saw the horrible movie with me, and thought that Death At A Funeral looked funny... sharing my outrage at the situation with him.

Oddly, I get a response straight away (He's one of those that can take a while to respond - a day, a week, a month, never). He's just as outraged as I am! (Yay for vindication). But in his case it's worse - he has a copy of the movie and has never seen it. I, being overly eager as usual, email him back right away - do you still have the movie? Do you want to watch it together?

No answer. (To this day - more than a month later - no response on that email. No big, honest, I'm pretty used to it... at least on this front). Knowing that was a likely possibility, as soon as I sent the email, I sent another email to another friend. Add this movie to your Netflix queue - please. Done.

So now - a month later (took a while to bump it around in the queue and such), last Thursday in fact, the friend that Netflix'd the movie for me tells me that it's in. He doesn't seem particularly interested in watching it - that's fine I have odd taste in movies, so I ask him to bring the movie to our shared class Friday morning. I have one class Friday morning, then all day to watch a movie if I want. That's fine, it's a plan. I get to class - no movie - he forgot. So I ask about getting it from him later, and he says he'll bring it over Friday night and we can watch it together - it'll be late (9ish) but that's fine. I've got other stuff I can do during the day. As I'm heading out for happy hour, I get a text from him that he can't make it. (I'm starting to get the feeling that the Gods don't want me to see this movie.) Do I want to come get the movie? No I don't bloody want to come get it, I'm leaving for happy hour! So I grit my teeth and text him back, telling him that it's fine... he's coming for dinner Saturday night, just bring the movie with him. If he decides NOT to come to dinner just to send it with our mutual friend who I knew would be coming for dinner.

So later Friday night, I confirm that he's bringing the movie Saturday, and ask if he's planning to watch it with me. The answers are both in the affirmative. Great.

Saturday night rolls around, and he shows up for dinner with the movie around 5:30... we have dinner, one of our other friends comes over for dessert. A couple people leave, and I ask about watching the movie. The friend that came over for dessert isn't really interested - British Comedy kinda bugs her. The friend that told he was going to watch it with me, tells me he's not going to stay for the movie. I sigh deeply and try to control myself. (It doesn't work very well).

Great - so I'm going to watch this movie alone. Clearly this movie and I have some issue. But for some reason, my friend that doesn't like British Comedy decides to stay and watch for a few minutes... I'm pretty sure it's purely out of pity for me. (I bet I looked pretty damn pitiful at that time - I mean I originally intended to watch the film by myself - but then I got excited about watching it with someone - and then got disappointed). She ended up staying for the whole thing and enjoying it!

ANYHOW - So I finally got to watch the damn movie. And my review of it is a RAVE!

It stars Matthew MacFayden, who you probably know as Mr. Darcy from the latest incarnation of Pride and Prejudice (the one with Keira Knightley), Alan Tudyk who is currently in the almost finished Fox series Dollhouse, and Kris Marshall, who we all know best as Colin Frissel in Love Actually. (And plenty of other people, but these are the ones I recognized from other things).

IMDB says it's a story about a family that puts the F U in funeral.

I loved it. I thought it was super funny. It starts off with the people from the funeral home bringing the wrong body to the funeral... and goes down hill from there.

I will probably buy this movie eventually. I will also probably boycott the American version. I don't see the need for a remake - it's not like the British accents are hard to understand (they all appear to be upper class Brits - you know with the posh accents).

Anyhow - if you're looking for something random and funny watch Death At A Funeral. I'm pretty sure you'll laugh.

Falling off the wagon...

Well tonight my first new years resolution hit the floor. Go with the flow. Yep - it's official. I cannot go with the flow.

I'm not a rigid person for the most part - but I hate having my plans changed. I TRY to be accommodating, but tonight I was pushed past my limit.

Now nothing major happened, but it was just the situation. And part of me feels like I over reacted (I probably did), but part of me also feels the old adage, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

I tend to take responsibility for a lot of things, regardless of whether or not they're my fault. I can rationalize most things into being my fault, this one included. But it doesn't mean I'm any less frustrated.

For some reason, today I feel like I'm being tested. Let's see how far we can push Fat Girl before she snaps. I don't really snap though. I shatter. It rarely happens, I can take a lot, but right now, I'm kind of at that point... even the tiniest thing could be THE THING that blows up my whole world.

I guess I really can't go with the flow.

Is 'No' really that hard to say?

So part of my frustration yesterday stemmed from being ignored instead of just told "no."

I'm not sure if it's me as the recipient or if it's the other people... but I'm tired of having to assume that silence means no.

Don't get me wrong - that is a perfectly logical conclusion to draw. I'm just tired of continually having to draw the conclusion.

I'm the first to admit I have a hard time saying no myself. I tend to do things that I shouldn't do (based on time or money constraints) because I didn't say no. But for the most part, these are things I WANT to do. Do I want to hang out with my friends instead of study for my 9 am class? Of course! Should I have said no? Probably.

So I'm not sure why people don't say no. Do they assume that by ignoring the phone call/email/text message, it will be like it never existed? Do they think my feelings (or feelings in general) are so fragile that I will fall apart at the mere hint of a no? Do they think they'll get the Spanish Inquisition at a no, and thus have to come up with some elaborate story for not wanting to do something? Is that word just missing from their vocabulary? Who knows.

Can I do anything about this? No. I've tried... with additions to emails like 'let me know either way' or 'it's no big deal if you can't' but those don't seem to help either. But honestly is it really that hard to respond to an email with 'sorry I can't' or 'no thanks'? I promise I'm not going to ask why not, I might say 'boo' or 'sad' but I'm not going to give a guilt trip, and I'm not going to throw a tantrum. Hell, I may even let you have the last word on the subject.

Fat Girl and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

Okay, I know, it's actually Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day - but today it feels fitting. After all, it is one of my favorite books ever... and today was just one of those days.

Alexander went to bed with gum in his mouth, and woke up with it in his hair, not me. I went to bed with wet hair, and woke up with my unruly curls rioting everywhere. And of course - I woke up late. Or rather, I didn't wake up late, but I refused to get out of bed until 8 am. Which is well and good, but I have class at 9:00. This laziness sets off a chain of events. Because I refuse to get out of bed, I don't get a shower to tame the curls (besides, I took one last night), I also don't get time to eat an entire english muffin, or drink a full cup of coffee.

I get to class, and the power cable for my laptop is being persnickety and won't charge (I think I need to replace it, but who has the time or money for that).

Aside from that - my day looks up, I only have 3 hours of class today, and they're all in a row... and I know the answers to the professor's questions in the first class, and the professors in the second class let us out 25 minutes early.

That's where my luck ends. I get out of class to 4 text messages from my husband, all very annoyed. Which causes me to call him, and get in a snark with him over something stupid and petty... not fun. Then I have to go to the post office to mail something to him, and there are a million people in line and I get a cardboard cut on my finger (like a paper cut times 20!). After that I get to go home to fight with the cable company - they insist that I have a username and password set up, I insist that I don't.

I try to make my day better by having lunch with a friend. Except my food is bland, and not providing the comfort that it's supposed to, and the company is only mildly assuaging my frustration.

My afternoon goes better - happier results with the cable company... and I get to go to yoga... who doesn't love yoga? But today yoga leaves me feeling unfulfilled, and unrelaxed. I want to beat the crap out of things - but I'm not really that type of girl.

I get home from yoga to find an email from earlier still unanswered... and that just incites the rage all over again. I have the urge to shout from the rooftops - "SAYING NO IS BETTER THAN GIVING NO ANSWER!!!!" not that it will do me any good... but still.

I think I'm going to go to bed early, and try this again in the morning. And if it's not better... maybe I'll move to Australia.

Ex Post Edito

One of the things I would most like to do in life is to find the ability to edit myself better.

I am huge with the over share - I just get to talking, and tell people way more than they want or need to know.

I will call the process Ex Post Edito - as an homage to law school and Ex Post Facto laws. [ Ex Post Facto laws (in case you don't know) are laws that are created after something has occurred that retroactively modify the status of the prior action. (Crude example - in utopian society there is no such thing as murder, thus not a crime and no punishment for that action - a murder occurs and an ex post facto law would be one that made that murder a punishable offense - I think) ]

Now I've solved this problem in gmail with the "Undo" feature. The undo feature gives me 10 seconds to retract an email before it goes to the recipient for good. Therefore I can say all the stupid crap I want, hit send and realize (very quickly) oh crap! and fix it.

I just need a way to do this for things I say aloud. All suggestions are welcome.

Hello Pot, it's Kettle, you're black

(attribution where it's due - the title of my blog is from an episode of Friends)

I was at a birthday party last night, having a conversation with one of my besties about names, or rather terms of endearment. I realized this morning that I'm pretty hypocritical about them.

My husband calls me babe or baby, but nothing else... someone else (two of them actually) called me "honey" and I decided I don't really like that term. It feels condescending to me. "Aww Honey..." like that. Even if it's not said like that. It makes me feel... annoyed.

Now I have plenty of nick-type-names. Plays on my name and other random names from way back. Those don't bother me at all. But for some reason Honey does. And I realize that 'Darlin' is my endearment of choice, which is pretty damn similar to 'Honey' - so knowing how I feel about this, and that not all people feel the same way I do, if I call you Darlin' and it bugs you, please feel free to let me know.

And as a resolution update - I am currently letting someone else have the last word - it is very hard, but I am persevering. I've read two non-school books this year. But I've only been to the gym 3 times a week so far - I'm hoping to fix this next week when I'm back in a routine, and in one place for the entire week.

Back in the Swing of Things

I'm officially back in school. Welcome back to the land of having a schedule. However, it's a law school schedule, so it's a little wonky.

Without further ado here it is:

I have 5 classes - 12 credits. One class Mon & Wed from 10:30 to 11:45 - yes I think it's odd to start the class on the half hour. One class Tues & Fri from 9:00 to 9:50. One class Tues from 10:00-11:50, one class Wed from 6:00 to 7:50, and one class Mon, Wed, Thurs from 5:00 to 5:50.

That's right - no two days are the same. And today I have one class at 5:00, and possibly a make up class at 6:00, because that's right, my prof didn't show up for my 6:00 class last night.

The new semester is always hard to get back into. Especially in spring because of all of the long weekends, and the way the school rotates the days of the week around to make sure all classes are missed evenly. (Next week, no class on Monday, but Wednesday is a Monday class schedule.) But soon enough, I will be back into a routine, and to be honest, I can't wait. All this time on my hands kind of kills me.

But for now, I will enjoy the fact that I had the time to make muffins for breakfast this morning. Then go to the gym like a good girl.

Impending Doom

Do you ever get the feeling that something is just not right?

That's been happening to me a lot lately. I've been in situations where I get a momentary feeling of unease. Like something's coming, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

This isn't the feeling that you get when you walk into a room and it's suddenly it's quiet and you know that prior to your arrival you were the topic of conversation. This is a more subtle feeling. Maybe not even a full feeling, but just a glimmer of a feeling.

It sounds really random I'm sure, but I just have this feeling that something is out there, lurking just beyond the horizon, just waiting to strike.

If it does, I'll let you know.

The Last Word

I had breakfast with one of my besties this morning, and the topic of correspondence came up. Most people know that my biggest pet peeve is people that don't return communication. I've said it before, I'll say it again, it bugs the crap out of me when people can't be bothered to return a simple phone call, email or text message. Hell I'm not even picky about how it comes back to me! But for the most part if I ask a question I want an answer. How hard is that?

So I was ranting about this to her this morning, and she started to tease me. Something to the extent of 'maybe you don't get a response because then the cycle would never end. You know you always like to have the last word.'

WHAT?!?!

'You texted me 'K' the other day.'

Oh yeah.

I do like to have the last word. It's not that I mean for it to be the last word, just that if you took the time to send me something, I feel like I should at least acknowledge that I got your message. Right?

Maybe not.

So in addition to the list below, I'm adding another resolution. To give up the last word. Not in all cases mind you... but at least a recognizable portion of the time. So in the next year, if you think I haven't answered you for some reason, know that I am not ignoring you, I'm just letting you have the last word.