Lost In Translation

I watched the movie Fearless last night. It's a Chinese film starting Jet Li. It's in Chinese, with subtitles. I'm normally not one for subtitles, but this wasn't my choice, so here's what I noticed.

- There are some random quips that I would probably consider Western cliches. I know in translating, it's not verbatim, it's the gist of things, but I kind of wonder what the Chinese colloquialism would be.

- Some of the dialogue that is translated into one word answers (Yes/No) seem to be a lot longer than one word.

- When people were speaking English, they still had the subtitles up - this was towards the end of the film and it had me wondering, am I picking up Chinese? Or is that really English.

[Okay - I admit it, I watched this film late at night and after half a bottle of wine, NO I was not drunk, but I was nice and relaxed for the first time in ages]

Anyhow - this translation between Chinese and English got me to thinking about translation between men and women. I know I personally tend to over think EVERYTHING. I read things into places that they probably shouldn't be. I also tend to mean things I'm not saying when I say things. This is like the typical female meaning of the word 'fine' where nine times out of ten, the word fine does not in fact mean fine. (Ex: I'm fine - said in a cool tone with hard look in the eyes probably means exactly the opposite, no I am not fine, but I'm not going to tell you that, I'm going to hope that you pick up on that, then ask me about it.)

I know I'm not the only one guilty of doing this. I know tons of other women that do it. But do guys do it too? Or do they actually say what they mean and mean what they say? My husband likes to tell me to listen to the words that are coming out of his mouth, because that's exactly what he means, but even then, tone of voice, stance, and body language can contradict that.

Maybe I should get subtitles. Do you think they have an app for that?

Learning To Say No

This goes with the accommodation thing I think. I need to learn to say no to things.

My problem is that I say yes - when I want to say no, then I become passive aggressive about the situation. That's a real treat let me tell you.

This stems from a situation that arose yesterday. I invited two friends for dinner last night. It was set up days in advance, and I had the menu set and everything. Yesterday afternoon, as I'm leaving for a function that's going to keep me out until almost dinner time, I get a text from one of my friends asking to bring a guest.

Okay. There's plenty of food. That shouldn't be a huge problem, but to me it is. It's not that I don't want to meet a new person. It's that my house is barely "friends" clean, let alone "new people" clean, and I have NO TIME to clean it, because I'm on my way to cocktail party.

Plus, in addition to the messiness that consumes my apartment, I'm suddenly concerned that my meal of lasagna and garlic bread is not enough. Cooking for my friends here is like cooking for my family at home: I can get away with not serving side dishes, letting them serve themselves, and not setting the table. (We usually eat in front of the TV.)

Also, I'm not overly confident in my cooking skills. I know I can make a killer lasagna... but everything else is... touch and go. So I wasn't worried about my main course, but I made tiramisu for dessert, and I've only made it once before, so I was worried that it wouldn't turn out right.

I'm not really sure why it worries me to serve my cooking to some chick one of my friends picked up, that I'll never see again... but it does.

So looking back, I should have just said no. I know that it would have led to yet another cancellation - and probably tarnished my image as a cool girl, but it probably would have been worth it for the reduced stress level.

Apparently it's the next thing on my list to work on. Wish me luck.

Deep Thoughts on Friendship

I am admittedly an overly accommodating person.

I'm happy to do airport runs, omit ingredients I love when cooking for guests, buy desserts I don't like, drop what I'm doing to help out a friend, bend my schedule in favor of someone elses, re-watch shows on my DVR because someone couldn't watch it on the original airdate, go places I don't want to go, and do things I don't really want to do, pretty much anything and everything to help out a friend (or family member).

I'm not actually sure why I'm so accommodating. Part of me thinks that it's my upbringing. I'm the (relatively) easy going one in a family full of stubborn, opinionated people that like to get their way. (This isn't to say that I'm always easy going, I'm capable of stubborn, and I've definitely thrown a tantrum or two - but usually this isn't my first reaction.) And part of me thinks it's the mechanism I use to keep friends.

I have friends. I really do. But I honestly have no idea why they're friends with someone like me. Comparatively I'm absolutely blah. I'm friends with some amazing people: they're smart, they're funny, they're attractive, they're thoughtful and caring... pretty much some of the best people you could ever know. I, being none of those things, have no idea what I bring to any of my relationships, and thus to keep them, try my best not to upset the apple cart. (And how better to do that than just accommodate their every whims?)

Do I mind being accommodating? Not really. But occasionally, like today, the accommodation becomes too much - and I feel taken advantage of. (Is this the only reason people are friends with me?) Today I said I wanted to change it. Now I know it won't happen overnight - and I'll never completely stop being accommodating - but I need to learn curb it when it becomes apparent that my willingness to accommodate someone is being taken for granted.

(Also - this does not mean that everything I do is merely to be accommodating - if I'm REALLY against something I won't do it... I promise.)

Dessert, How I've Missed You

I had half of a delicious Napoleon for lunch today - amazing!

Last night - I had a root beer float - mmmm ice cream floating in soda

Yesterday Morning - I had a cookie for breakfast - that's right, consumed in bed even

Dessert is back with a vengeance!

A Lenten Recap

Did I make my Lenten resolutions this year?

HAHAHAHAHA! No.

This is the first year that I haven't made them though. And I'm going to go for unpredictable circumstances as to demolishing the dessert resolution.

I am a huge comfort eater. (that is not to say that I am huge and a comfort eater - [although - 'huge' may be up for debate] - I tend to eat when I'm upset.) Dessert is my comfort food of choice... and I made it all the way to the last week before I gave in to my needs, but in the last week, since Wednesday actually, I got my mum's will in the mail, which made me face parental mortality, and thus made me very uncomfortable (needed ice cream to cope), and rolled my car. (again, I needed ice cream to cope with that too. I'm okay for the most part - a little beat up and a little shaken, but it could be a whole lot worse. The car on the other hand... well it's a loss.)

So I almost made it. Were it not for the will, and the accident, I would have made it the whole way!

I guess I need to learn a better coping mechanism before I have issues like this again.

So Annoyed

You know how your mom always tells you that you should wear clean underwear in case of an accident?

I'm going to up that ante a little bit. You should always wear clean matching bra and panties in case your clothes are cut off of you.

And what's worse? The jeans I JUST got back into. The lovely Gap jeans that I haven't fit into for more than 2 years... yep - those were cut off me too.

I'm really annoyed. (Yes, I know, also grateful to be alive, but still).

An Amazing Feat

Today, I am comfortably in the jeans I haven't worn since fall of 2007!

I feel like dancing. It's more than just trying them on and having them fit, it's being able to wear them without being uncomfortable.

Now given the jeans are like 3 years old - they're hitting me in a funny spot (they ride up a little higher than my current jeans) - gotta love how styles change... but right now, I'm just happy to be able to fit into them.

Since the start of Lent I've lost 10 pounds. While it's not a ton, it's a start. And I've done it without starving myself or exercising myself into oblivion. (That's not to say that I haven't eaten less and exercised more...)

I owe one of my dear friends (the one that's been dragging me to the gym at 5:30 every morning) something shiny or something chocolatey.

But all in all, yay for me!