What the heck is wrong with me?

So far, No New Book Month (hereinafter referred to as NNBM) is going along swimmingly.  It's the 8th, and I haven't bought a book. (of course, I also haven't been to a bookstore, and when I was at Walmart, they didn't have the book I wanted, but still).  So you'd think that NNBM would be a great time to empty out my "To Read" shelf, but have I done that yet?  Not a chance.  

Instead I'm sucked into the online world of fan fiction.  That's right.  I said it.  Now I feel like a 12 year old girl, which is coincidently, the age of what seems to be the majority of the authors of this stuff.  Now, as you know from reading this blog, I'm not a writer.  I ramble, I phrase things awkwardly and my spelling is atrocious.  But honestly, some of these stories have the worst grammar I have ever seen in my entire life. I don't think these writers even read their work prior to posting it for the world to see.  

Yes, I know this makes me sound snobby and probably bitchy. But really, I just want to help.  So I thought about it, how can I help?  IDEA!  (picture Wile E. Coyote and the thought bubble) I can be a Beta Reader.  What is a beta reader? a person that reads the work before it's published and gives feed back.  I'm terrible with content.  I love long drivel describing the scene. But I am great with the grammar/punctuation pencil  [okay, okay, except the comma. I am the queen of the comma splice.].  I may write for crap myself, but I can fix other people's stuff.   So what's the problem with this? I can read other people's good ideas, and make it better.  Where do I sign up?  

Therein lies the problem.  Before one can be a beta reader, one must publish either a) five works of fan fiction OR b) one work of fan fiction longer than 6000 words, AND be a member of the site for 30 days. 

What's a girl to do?  Do I attempt to write 'fanfic?' Do I just accept reading other people's drivel that is full of great story lines but written so poorly that it can't be followed? Or do I go back to real live published books? 

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm going to go read a well written novel for a while until I figure it out.