Accountability in 2011

I have many random goals for 2011. Some are big (find a job as a lawyer) and some are little (finish the books listed on my currently reading list at goodreads). All however, are worthy of being completed.

That being said, I am posting my currently reading list from goodreads here, so you can track my progress.

Currently Reading:

The Audacity of Hope

Mansfield Park

Everything is Illuminated

The Smoke Jumper

Gods in Alabama

A Confederacy of Dunces

These books have all been on my currently reading list for over a year. It's time to start getting through them. I guess that means I need to find them.

More goals for 2011

Finish some of my fiction! (Fan or otherwise)

Become more worldly (yes, that means read the news - more than just entertainment news)

Become ambidextrous (mainly because my right wrist is bothering me right now and I'd like to be able to use my left hand more to alleviate this)

Spend more time with my friends (all of my friends, not just the closest few)

Learn to cook something new (I'm open to suggestions here)

Limit my consumption of soda and alcohol (basically beverages with high caloric content, since I don't drink diet soda)

Yep - more random crap. We'll see how far I make it on this.

2010 - The highs and lows

As 2010 comes to a close, I find myself reflecting back on the year, at the things that happened or didn't happen. So here are some of the good and bad things that happened.

Good Things:

I graduated from law school

I got my best law school grades ever

I passed the Washington State Bar

My brother and his wife had a healthy baby girl

One of the besties is pregnant with baby number 2

My sister in law is pregnant with baby number 2

Went to Vegas with one of the besties!

My husband finally got a job (after 18 months of looking)

Bad Things:

I spent the majority of my summer studying for the bar

I still haven't found a job as a lawyer

I had to move (from school to home, but still a move just the same)

I rolled my car, totaling it, but luckily, not totaling me

I missed Muse in concert

I owe a bajillion dollars in student loans that I have to put in deferral because I don't have a job that can pay them

I miss my law school friends who I don't see nearly often enough

So there you have it, a few of the ups and downs of the year. Here's hoping that 2011 will be better. I look forward to more babies and hopefully a job as a lawyer!

The [Insert Descriptive Word Here] One

I didn't get an invitation to a party. It was one of those Facebook open invites, so the party showed up in my feed, and I'm free to attend it, but I didn't get an invitation. I'm looking at the list of people that did get invited, and low and behold, there is one of my best friends.

Since we're equally close to the birthday girl, this got me thinking. I'm friends with some pretty amazing people. They're smart, they're witty, they're pretty, they're kind, and they're loyal. All wonderful qualities. But this leaves me wondering, if I had to pick one descriptive quality, which one am I?

Did you ever see the movie Love Actually? There's this scene where Colin (the sex god, who's on the wrong continent) goes to "any bar" in America, and there are tons of hot girls. He's sitting with this table full of beautiful women, and one of them comments about their friend that's missing (Harriet I believe), and she says "she's the 'sexy one'."

That's what I'm wondering about. I have friends that I can describe as The Pretty One, or The Athletic One, or The Talented One, or any number of other adjectives... but I can't really find one for me. There are several I'd like to be (The Smart One or The Friendly One or The Loyal One), but if you saw me with my friends, you'd probably think I'm The Other One (lacking description) or depending on the day maybe The Funny One, or The Fat One, or even The Loud One.

I'm not even sure if it matters, everyone is going to have a different label anyhow, but after missing the invitation to a party, I'm wondering if I'm The Invisible One, or The Obnoxious One, or The One Secretly Voted Off The Island. Food for thought I guess. And maybe a new New Years resolution.

Lost

How do you fix something you're not completely sure is broken? Okay, fine, I'm 99.44 percent sure I inadvertently torched a friendship that was (is?) very important to me. I have no clue how to go about fixing it.

Alright, that's not completely true. I have no clue how to fix it, aside from apologizing. I did that. I'm still hanging out here in the land of the unsure. I don't know what to do next. At least not without making myself look like an even bigger head case. (In this case, it's likely that I come across as neurotic and almost definite that I come across as insecure, this would just add copious quantities of fuel to that fire.)

Sometimes a girl just wants a concrete answer. Even if it's not the answer I want, an answer would be better than no answer. They (whoever "they" are) always say that actions speak louder than words. Well I'm here to disagree. I'm a lawyer. I'm a girl. I'm neurotic. I can interpret a lot from actions. I think that clear words are much louder.

So with this situation in mind, I begin my list of New Years Resolutions for 2011.

1) Find a way to be less obsessive about communication received (or not received as the case may be) from others.

2) Find a way to unempower songs.

3) Find a job as a lawyer.

4) Find out how to become the person I want to be. (Find the person I want to be - who is hopefully not going to be neurotic.)

5) Spend more time with my friends and family.

6) Improve my financial situation.

7) [insert traditional weight loss/heath related goals here]

There you have it. The start of the list. It may change, grow or shrink in the next two weeks or so. Stay tuned.

Things That Suck About Working Retail

Alright, while I look for my lawyer job, I've found a retail job. It gets me out of the house, and gets a little money in my pocket, but it also makes me want to pull my hair out.

So here are the top 5 things that make me crazy:

1. Working weekends in general and working on Black Friday (I start before 4 am!)

2. My commissioned coworkers who snap at me for talking to people (Please note: I am NOT trying to steal your sale, I will happily ring it up for you).

3. The same coworkers stealing MY sales!

4. The fact that I'm practically wearing all black all the time.

5. Wearing the same black loafers every day (I have yet to get to the point where tennis shoes and slacks is an option and high heels are completely out of the question).

Of course, there are some good things about my job. Aside from my coworkers being overly suspicious, they're generally pretty nice. My boss is pretty cool. I get a good discount. I'm learning a lot about various household appliances. And again, even though it's a pittance, I'm earning some money.

Sticking Points As Sleep Aids

So, every so often (okay fine most of the time), when writing you run into a dead end. The story is moving along, and then you come to a point where you can't seem to move forward.

To me this usually indicates that I need to focus on something else for a while, then come back to it. This usually works, but I can't really do that for NaNo, I need to just try and write through it, which means writing something that's more drivel than usual.

Anyhow. So last night, I'm laying in bed, thinking about a point where I'm stuck... and before I can come to any sort of possible resolution, or way to reverse and restart, I'm sound asleep.

What does it say that my own story puts me to sleep?

Yeah. I thought so.